MOTHERHOOD - Part 3

MOTHERHOOD 3

Mothers have very little time for supervision these days. More so that the era of fulltime housewife is fast fading, children now come home to empty houses and have only the television and the video as their companions. The Blackberry has taken the roles of parent and family. We all need the extra income that comes into the family from the mother's pay packets but we also have the adverse effect. The working class mothers syndrome had really altered the family system. It has promoted the development of 'unattached, uncommunicative, learning impaired and uncontrollable children'.

Dr. Robert Shaw puts it this way; 'the boarding house system is a force that we have to reckon with. Parents send their children to full boarding system before they are nine till they are out of they university. These are the formative years being taken over by various school authorities. Some children start kindergarten or DayCare before age 2 and really do not have much to learn at their mothers' knees. They are collected from schools by 3'o clock during which time the mother is still at work. When she comes, she hurries through dinner and some other activities.

Our children need supervision and they need attention. A good mother has time to listen. When a child picks up courage to say 'Mummy I want to talk to you', please drop whatever you are doing and listen. Give it a little more time and the child may lose the courage.

Get to meet your children's friends. Do not always shoo away your child's friend believing that you have a better idea of who he should befriend. Invite his friends home and you will get to see whether your child is safe in the relationship or to utterly duscourage it. Unfortunately, children now make friends on the internet and we may not get to meet those friends. They are also exposed to pressures and problems unknown to past generations. Mothers should always be curious.

A good mother will be willing to discipline his child in love. The Bible says a boy let on loose will cause  his mother shame. Prov 25:15. If a child is endlessly indulged and never hears the word 'No', he may becomw deliquent. A child must be made  to know other people have lives, emotions and needs. A child who receives no discipline will not be self disciplined.

Effective mothering includes setting limits. Mothers spend more time with the children so they are much involved in that area of discipline. 
'You can go out now but you must be home bu 7pm'. 
'You can watch video but let me know the films you watch'

These are limits without being too strict.

Mothers must however review their methods of discipline and instructions especially as their children grow older and begin to show signs of maturity. Perhaps certain rules or instructions could be relaxed or adjusted in keeping with the young one's ability to act responsibly.

You must open conversation with your children in a relaxed atmosphere. You get to know more about your children during such times.

(To be continued)

- Mrs Grace Ebe Olumodeji