My wife and I had an interesting Bible Study time this morning, and I just want to share some of the things we learned. But, by now you know I have stories to tell all the time. So bear with me.
I have carefully avoided writing about marriage since I got married. I believe no one qualifies to teach on marriage if he or she is not married. Was Paul married? I am not sure now, so may be that debunks my stated belief. And Jesus did not marry too. Okay. So I have another belief. I strongly believe that with good interpersonal and relational skills, anyone could have a good marriage. Take away sex, all you do in marriage is relate with another person. Well, I am barely two years in marriage and I still feel I am not qualified to talk about marriage yet.
But I was in courtship with my wife for seven years. We were good friends for three years before I proposed marriage. So in all, we have been in one form of relationship or the other for ten years. I think I am qualified to talk about Relationship, don't you think so? How old am I, really that ten years ago, I had already met my wife? Well, I think I am favoured. My wife came as a package that accompanied my salvation. Yes, I am a little above ten years in the Lord.
You must know then, that Bible Study with my wife started way, way back. I had a room mate in School- Alexander. He used to wonder what kind of friends my wife and I were then. She would come to my place and we would spend hours- and I do not exaggerate, sometimes five hours- with our bibles in front of us, discussing Scriptures. As at that time, I never saw her as my wife to be. To me, it was a Mordecai - Esther relationship. I felt I was preparing her for the King. Okay, know it now; when God gives us a girl, she will be named- not Esther, but- Hadassah. Esther is Persian, Hadassah is Hebrew. They have the same meaning. Yes, you were told Esther means Star. Actually Hadassah (Esther) means Myrtle, a kind of plant popular in Europe and North Africa, it is Star-shaped and evergreen. Okay, Hadassah is not coming now. Daniel is doing very fine, an amazing child- he has been a source of joy and inspiration since he arrived. We give God all the glory.
So, I have no word of advice for a man aspiring to marry other than the one I already offered; treat people well; treat your woman well. However, if you are a Christian man or woman, and you love the Lord Jesus passionately; then I have some prayers for you.
1. May you marry your friend.
2. May you marry God's friend.
A woman that loves you and loves the Lord will only do you good all the days of your life. If she loves the Lord, and does not love you or she loves you and does not love the Lord, you have a major issue. But not to worry; keep treating her well. I know non-Christian marriages that are admirable, so if it is marriage- you could get it right if you are determined. You see, I am not teaching marriage the way Counsellors do. Okay.
So if you are not a Christian, you do not need all those prayer and fasting to find a good person to marry. 'Whosoever finds..' so keep searching. But if you are a Christian man or woman, you know marriage transcends you and your partner. You know marriage stretches far, far into posterity. You know marriage stretches far, far into ancestry. You know, you don't want to get hooked for life with just a nice person, or a good fellow. You know marriage has to do with purpose. You know nothing materially affects purpose like marriage. You know you can not afford to get it wrong in marriage. Well, that is if you are a Christian. If you are not, please read Dale Carnegie's books and they are more than enough to give you a good time in courtship and marriage. I have said enough for now, wait till a few more years when I can say I have walked the road and conquered the path of marriage.
So we had yet another great time together studying the Scriptures. And we just began studying Paul's letter to the Ephesians. Today, I did the reading, then we both discussed whatever God laid in our spirits. Oh yes, as the priest of the house, I do preach sometimes. But I enjoy it more when we discuss. I remember now; one Scripture God gave me as a confirmation to propose marriage to her is Malachi 3:16. It reads thus;
'Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another, and the LORD heard them; so a book of remembrance was written before Him for those wo feared the LORD and who meditate on His name'.
We were two hearts that feared God, and all we did then was speak to each other often meditating in His word, so God recorded it in His book. Well, that is personal. And I just hope God gave you a word for your marriage. You will need that word sooner or later or even from time to time.
So I prefer when we discuss Scriptures.
After I read Chapter One, I asked what she got while reading. She hesitated. I know my wife well enough. She would not be pressured to speak. At that moment, she had not 'received' any inspiration. I had. So I spoke. (Please note that I have expanded some of our sharings to benefit you more).
My Sharing.
Ephesians 1:1
Paul was writing to the Ephesians. To the 'saints and faithful in Christ Jesus'. That makes it very relevant to us and every believer in Jesus Christ. Who is a saint? It is amazing that Paul would call any human a saint. The last time I checked the Dictionary I saw the word Saint defined as 'a person acknowlegded as holy'. You will find that the Church has influenced the meaning of that word even in many dictionaries as 'someone canonized as such (a saint)'. But I saw in the Bible God said 'There is none holy, no not one'. (see Romans 3:10 and Psalm 14:3). And it is also written that 'All have sinned...' (see Rom. 3:23; Eccl. 7:20;). John even said 'If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves...' (1 John 1:8-10). And David asked a rhetoric question in Psalm 130:3; 'If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who would stand?' I feel like answering David, 'for some of us, Jesus would stand!' (please notice the difference in case in "LORD" and "Lord" in that Scripture)
Okay. Even Jesus said 'No one is good but one, that is, God' (see Mark 10:18). But He became sin for us so that we might become the Righteousness of God in Him. (see 2 Cor 5:21). John told us in 1 John 2:1 that 'we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous'. Oh we also have an Accuser (see Zech. 3:1). But our Advocate paid the full price and the Accuser knows that fully well. So the saint is he whom God so declares, not the Pope. When you give your life to Christ in an experience called Salvation, you are declared a saint by God. Sin then changes position in your life, sin comes under your feet.
My Wife' Sharing.
(She made her points one by one).
Who ever is forgiven by God is a saint.
Psalm 130:4 says 'There is forgiveness with You...'.
Romans 8:1 says 'There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus...'
Psalm 32:1 says 'Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered...'
A saint is he or she that receives forgiveness of sin from God through Christ Jesus.
My Sharing.
Ephesians 1:2
Grace... and Peace. What a combination! If you have two girls as daughters, you may name one Grace and the other Peace (as if that is all to it). Grace is uncommon, undeserved, unusual favour. Grace is also 'the ability of God made available for a man'. So with God's grace, a man can do what he ordinarily would not be able to do. He could run faster than he could have done otherwise. Grace is therefore Speed. Peace is Stability. Peace is peace. The way we pronounce it shows how it works. But Scriptures said the Peace of God works far beyond our understanding. Phillipians 4:7 says the 'Peace of God surpasses all understanding...'
So Grace gives Ability; Peace gives Stability. In God, you can be fast and steady, don't mind the tortoise.
Ephesians 1:3
My Wife's Sharing.
(She agreed with my points on Grace and Peace. She was more eager to talk about verse 3)
Ephesians 1:3 says God has '... blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places'. Every is every. Which means, in the realm of the spirit, a saint is so immensely blessed. How can one relate to that, really? You see, the spiritual realm is so, so real. It is so real that when the body dies, the spirit lives on. In fact, everything in the phyiscal is being controlled in the spiritual. You may believe it or leave it; at every point in time, the things around you that you can not see are far, far more than the ones you can see with your physical eyes. So, if we are blessed in every way in the spiritual, then the physical is not an issue at all.
You still doubt the efficacy of the spiritual? Paul said there are 'spiritual hosts of wickedness in heavenly places'. Those 'heavenly places' are the very territory where God has blessed you in every way. You may not know it and I do not blame you. A man could be so rich that he can not fully track his wealth. You could continue to steal from him as long as it does not materially affect his wealth. How much knowledge of your bessing has the devil stolen from you? Is it materially affecting your quality of life on earth?
Ephesians 1:4,5
My Wife's Sharing.
(I asked my wife a question. What is Predestination? Do you really believe some are predestined to make heaven and others, hell?. This was her response).
I do not believe anyone is predestined to hell or heaven. (Certain Scriptures began to come to my mind; Pharaoh Exodus 9:16; Vessels of wrath prepared for destruction Romans 9:21-22; Judas John 17:12, but I waited for her to finish, listening). God wants all men to be saved. He calls all men to repentance. (see Acts 17:30). God so loved the world and Jesus died for all (John 3:16, Rom 3:23). The Grace of God that brings Salvation has appeared to all (Titus 2:11). So God wants all men to be saved. (I find that interesting, because as much as God loves a Jew, that Jew still have to accept Christ to make heaven. Paul tried to reason it out in the his letter to the Romans, find time to study it).
The Predestination comes in when you accept Christ, or you refuse Him. See, when you sit in your house and you say you are predestined to get to Abuja, you deceive your self. And when you face Okene to Akure and maybe, have to stop at Ilesa and you say you are preedestined to get to Lagos, you are right. But if you face Okene and on your way to Lagos you say you are predestined to get to Abuja, you will need a U turn. Predestination is two words. Pre- and -Destination. It has more to do with the destination than with you. Before the foundation of the world, the destination(s) have been prepared. The destination is prepared for all who would go. So if you accept Jesus, a destination is prepared for you. If you refuse Jesus, a destination is prepared for you. (I felt like argue a little with my wife, but I resisted the urge).
Romans 8: 30 says '... whom He had predestined, these He also called...' But we know 'Many are called...', but how many get chosen? You get chosen when you heed the call, for He will not cast away any one who comes to Him.
So predestination comes to play when or whether you heed God's call or not. Once you heed His call, you are on a track enroute a destination. Whether you will reach that destination or not is another issue, but the that will not change the fact that a destination has been prepared.
(Hmmm. I married a deep woman).
Ephesians 1: 9
My Sharing.
'...having made known to us the mystery of His will. according to...'
The will of God, (like any will until it is revealed) is a mystery. All that is ours in God are inside God's will. And when that will is made known to us, things begin to happen ACCORDINGLY.
Christianity can be very interesting for Christians. A Christian wants to know God's will as regards his marriage partner, as regards his choice of career, as regards his many daily decisions. This is good, of course. Some people even believe there is a 'Permissive will of God'. I think there is one will of God and it is alway, always good, acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2).
This is the mystery; that when God's will is made known to you, things happen accordingly. No wonder, Paul said '... WE KNOW that all things work together for good...' to us (see Romans 8;28).
Conclusion.
We had to get ready for the day. My wife noted how many times in Chapter One of Ephesians that the word 'according' was mentioned. We counted five; verse 5, 7,9,11 and 19. We will continue from there next time.
We raised a song;
'Open the eyes of my heart, LORD...'
At this point, Daniel stopped playing around the bed. He looked at my wife and me, observing that we were saying the same words... (I plan to get him more musical instruments as toys, he loves music). He kept looking from me to her as we sang.
... To see You high and lifed up
Shining in the ligt of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy...
He kept looking from me to her as we sang.
...Holy holy holy...
We prayed according to Ephesians 1:17-19.
Hope you learned a few things. Looking forward to sharing more of our studies with you.
Thank you and God bless your marriage.
I have carefully avoided writing about marriage since I got married. I believe no one qualifies to teach on marriage if he or she is not married. Was Paul married? I am not sure now, so may be that debunks my stated belief. And Jesus did not marry too. Okay. So I have another belief. I strongly believe that with good interpersonal and relational skills, anyone could have a good marriage. Take away sex, all you do in marriage is relate with another person. Well, I am barely two years in marriage and I still feel I am not qualified to talk about marriage yet.
But I was in courtship with my wife for seven years. We were good friends for three years before I proposed marriage. So in all, we have been in one form of relationship or the other for ten years. I think I am qualified to talk about Relationship, don't you think so? How old am I, really that ten years ago, I had already met my wife? Well, I think I am favoured. My wife came as a package that accompanied my salvation. Yes, I am a little above ten years in the Lord.
You must know then, that Bible Study with my wife started way, way back. I had a room mate in School- Alexander. He used to wonder what kind of friends my wife and I were then. She would come to my place and we would spend hours- and I do not exaggerate, sometimes five hours- with our bibles in front of us, discussing Scriptures. As at that time, I never saw her as my wife to be. To me, it was a Mordecai - Esther relationship. I felt I was preparing her for the King. Okay, know it now; when God gives us a girl, she will be named- not Esther, but- Hadassah. Esther is Persian, Hadassah is Hebrew. They have the same meaning. Yes, you were told Esther means Star. Actually Hadassah (Esther) means Myrtle, a kind of plant popular in Europe and North Africa, it is Star-shaped and evergreen. Okay, Hadassah is not coming now. Daniel is doing very fine, an amazing child- he has been a source of joy and inspiration since he arrived. We give God all the glory.
So, I have no word of advice for a man aspiring to marry other than the one I already offered; treat people well; treat your woman well. However, if you are a Christian man or woman, and you love the Lord Jesus passionately; then I have some prayers for you.
1. May you marry your friend.
2. May you marry God's friend.
A woman that loves you and loves the Lord will only do you good all the days of your life. If she loves the Lord, and does not love you or she loves you and does not love the Lord, you have a major issue. But not to worry; keep treating her well. I know non-Christian marriages that are admirable, so if it is marriage- you could get it right if you are determined. You see, I am not teaching marriage the way Counsellors do. Okay.
So if you are not a Christian, you do not need all those prayer and fasting to find a good person to marry. 'Whosoever finds..' so keep searching. But if you are a Christian man or woman, you know marriage transcends you and your partner. You know marriage stretches far, far into posterity. You know marriage stretches far, far into ancestry. You know, you don't want to get hooked for life with just a nice person, or a good fellow. You know marriage has to do with purpose. You know nothing materially affects purpose like marriage. You know you can not afford to get it wrong in marriage. Well, that is if you are a Christian. If you are not, please read Dale Carnegie's books and they are more than enough to give you a good time in courtship and marriage. I have said enough for now, wait till a few more years when I can say I have walked the road and conquered the path of marriage.
So we had yet another great time together studying the Scriptures. And we just began studying Paul's letter to the Ephesians. Today, I did the reading, then we both discussed whatever God laid in our spirits. Oh yes, as the priest of the house, I do preach sometimes. But I enjoy it more when we discuss. I remember now; one Scripture God gave me as a confirmation to propose marriage to her is Malachi 3:16. It reads thus;
'Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another, and the LORD heard them; so a book of remembrance was written before Him for those wo feared the LORD and who meditate on His name'.
We were two hearts that feared God, and all we did then was speak to each other often meditating in His word, so God recorded it in His book. Well, that is personal. And I just hope God gave you a word for your marriage. You will need that word sooner or later or even from time to time.
So I prefer when we discuss Scriptures.
After I read Chapter One, I asked what she got while reading. She hesitated. I know my wife well enough. She would not be pressured to speak. At that moment, she had not 'received' any inspiration. I had. So I spoke. (Please note that I have expanded some of our sharings to benefit you more).
My Sharing.
Ephesians 1:1
Paul was writing to the Ephesians. To the 'saints and faithful in Christ Jesus'. That makes it very relevant to us and every believer in Jesus Christ. Who is a saint? It is amazing that Paul would call any human a saint. The last time I checked the Dictionary I saw the word Saint defined as 'a person acknowlegded as holy'. You will find that the Church has influenced the meaning of that word even in many dictionaries as 'someone canonized as such (a saint)'. But I saw in the Bible God said 'There is none holy, no not one'. (see Romans 3:10 and Psalm 14:3). And it is also written that 'All have sinned...' (see Rom. 3:23; Eccl. 7:20;). John even said 'If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves...' (1 John 1:8-10). And David asked a rhetoric question in Psalm 130:3; 'If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who would stand?' I feel like answering David, 'for some of us, Jesus would stand!' (please notice the difference in case in "LORD" and "Lord" in that Scripture)
Okay. Even Jesus said 'No one is good but one, that is, God' (see Mark 10:18). But He became sin for us so that we might become the Righteousness of God in Him. (see 2 Cor 5:21). John told us in 1 John 2:1 that 'we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous'. Oh we also have an Accuser (see Zech. 3:1). But our Advocate paid the full price and the Accuser knows that fully well. So the saint is he whom God so declares, not the Pope. When you give your life to Christ in an experience called Salvation, you are declared a saint by God. Sin then changes position in your life, sin comes under your feet.
My Wife' Sharing.
(She made her points one by one).
Who ever is forgiven by God is a saint.
Psalm 130:4 says 'There is forgiveness with You...'.
Romans 8:1 says 'There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus...'
Psalm 32:1 says 'Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered...'
A saint is he or she that receives forgiveness of sin from God through Christ Jesus.
My Sharing.
Ephesians 1:2
Grace... and Peace. What a combination! If you have two girls as daughters, you may name one Grace and the other Peace (as if that is all to it). Grace is uncommon, undeserved, unusual favour. Grace is also 'the ability of God made available for a man'. So with God's grace, a man can do what he ordinarily would not be able to do. He could run faster than he could have done otherwise. Grace is therefore Speed. Peace is Stability. Peace is peace. The way we pronounce it shows how it works. But Scriptures said the Peace of God works far beyond our understanding. Phillipians 4:7 says the 'Peace of God surpasses all understanding...'
So Grace gives Ability; Peace gives Stability. In God, you can be fast and steady, don't mind the tortoise.
Ephesians 1:3
My Wife's Sharing.
(She agreed with my points on Grace and Peace. She was more eager to talk about verse 3)
Ephesians 1:3 says God has '... blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places'. Every is every. Which means, in the realm of the spirit, a saint is so immensely blessed. How can one relate to that, really? You see, the spiritual realm is so, so real. It is so real that when the body dies, the spirit lives on. In fact, everything in the phyiscal is being controlled in the spiritual. You may believe it or leave it; at every point in time, the things around you that you can not see are far, far more than the ones you can see with your physical eyes. So, if we are blessed in every way in the spiritual, then the physical is not an issue at all.
You still doubt the efficacy of the spiritual? Paul said there are 'spiritual hosts of wickedness in heavenly places'. Those 'heavenly places' are the very territory where God has blessed you in every way. You may not know it and I do not blame you. A man could be so rich that he can not fully track his wealth. You could continue to steal from him as long as it does not materially affect his wealth. How much knowledge of your bessing has the devil stolen from you? Is it materially affecting your quality of life on earth?
Ephesians 1:4,5
My Wife's Sharing.
(I asked my wife a question. What is Predestination? Do you really believe some are predestined to make heaven and others, hell?. This was her response).
I do not believe anyone is predestined to hell or heaven. (Certain Scriptures began to come to my mind; Pharaoh Exodus 9:16; Vessels of wrath prepared for destruction Romans 9:21-22; Judas John 17:12, but I waited for her to finish, listening). God wants all men to be saved. He calls all men to repentance. (see Acts 17:30). God so loved the world and Jesus died for all (John 3:16, Rom 3:23). The Grace of God that brings Salvation has appeared to all (Titus 2:11). So God wants all men to be saved. (I find that interesting, because as much as God loves a Jew, that Jew still have to accept Christ to make heaven. Paul tried to reason it out in the his letter to the Romans, find time to study it).
The Predestination comes in when you accept Christ, or you refuse Him. See, when you sit in your house and you say you are predestined to get to Abuja, you deceive your self. And when you face Okene to Akure and maybe, have to stop at Ilesa and you say you are preedestined to get to Lagos, you are right. But if you face Okene and on your way to Lagos you say you are predestined to get to Abuja, you will need a U turn. Predestination is two words. Pre- and -Destination. It has more to do with the destination than with you. Before the foundation of the world, the destination(s) have been prepared. The destination is prepared for all who would go. So if you accept Jesus, a destination is prepared for you. If you refuse Jesus, a destination is prepared for you. (I felt like argue a little with my wife, but I resisted the urge).
Romans 8: 30 says '... whom He had predestined, these He also called...' But we know 'Many are called...', but how many get chosen? You get chosen when you heed the call, for He will not cast away any one who comes to Him.
So predestination comes to play when or whether you heed God's call or not. Once you heed His call, you are on a track enroute a destination. Whether you will reach that destination or not is another issue, but the that will not change the fact that a destination has been prepared.
(Hmmm. I married a deep woman).
Ephesians 1: 9
My Sharing.
'...having made known to us the mystery of His will. according to...'
The will of God, (like any will until it is revealed) is a mystery. All that is ours in God are inside God's will. And when that will is made known to us, things begin to happen ACCORDINGLY.
Christianity can be very interesting for Christians. A Christian wants to know God's will as regards his marriage partner, as regards his choice of career, as regards his many daily decisions. This is good, of course. Some people even believe there is a 'Permissive will of God'. I think there is one will of God and it is alway, always good, acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2).
This is the mystery; that when God's will is made known to you, things happen accordingly. No wonder, Paul said '... WE KNOW that all things work together for good...' to us (see Romans 8;28).
Conclusion.
We had to get ready for the day. My wife noted how many times in Chapter One of Ephesians that the word 'according' was mentioned. We counted five; verse 5, 7,9,11 and 19. We will continue from there next time.
We raised a song;
'Open the eyes of my heart, LORD...'
At this point, Daniel stopped playing around the bed. He looked at my wife and me, observing that we were saying the same words... (I plan to get him more musical instruments as toys, he loves music). He kept looking from me to her as we sang.
... To see You high and lifed up
Shining in the ligt of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy...
He kept looking from me to her as we sang.
...Holy holy holy...
We prayed according to Ephesians 1:17-19.
Hope you learned a few things. Looking forward to sharing more of our studies with you.
Thank you and God bless your marriage.
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